Reading up my old posts.. I realised I’ve been through quite a lot. Even though i haven’t posted a lot.
Actually, I think.. just like any other people. I have a million things on my mind and i just don’t know what to write. My mind is empty, yet filled with things I want to express. So, maybe i’ll just come up and say this one thing.
I probably will never forget you. I learnt many things being with you. even more when you left. Maybe it’s a good thing you leaving me, because without that, I don’t think i’ll meet such a great friend like Theodoros Chan. She… is special, you know. I’m not afraid of being myself with her. I can say whatever I want and I won’t feel awkward about it. And she’s being an ass, not talking to me.
My life may seem like a wreck now, but hey! there are some ups other than the downs. Let me think….
I finally met up with my old mates back in the days from CO. Edison Genesis Sylvester Jingkai. It’s a pity though, that Ziyong Zhichuen and Ruixiang couldn’t make it. We had fun, even though we were bored at some point of time, but it’s good. Having the company of such old friends. It just allows us to remember the days so well, we can fill in what the other has forgotten. You know, there’s always a second perspective, in this case. I have 4 other perspective.
So, even though there’s this happy occasion, Sad events tend to weigh heavier all the time, you can’t seem to shake off the feeling of remorse. For me, i’m always reminded of events at any point of day and from there, i just tumble down to depressionLand. This may be the moment, but i think i’m doing pretty well today. Maybe I just didn’t let go. But it’s tough. some of you may know that. But it isn’t the same, When you’re telling people to do it, and when you’re facing it yourself. .
I just watched a youtube video, and this little girl’s wish to santa, was that her father to come back from iraq. and when she sat on santa’s lap in the class, she wished for the exact same thing. Well, ‘santa’ took off his hat and beard, revealing that it’s her dad. That moment was so touching, i swear i teared. It’s not often I do this. But well, I really do believe that christmas should be spent with your loved ones. you have the whole day, you have time to go around. maybe some are too far indeed. But don’t forget the ones that are by your side. I am glad i spent christmas night with my parents, even though it was just like any other night together. But at least i spent my night with them. They aren’t getting any younger. and i should be mature enough to know that, they are getting weaker, and they need their children’s love even more than the past.
even right now, mom and dad are down with cold. I bought herbal tea for them and they smiled to me. Just that alone, is enough for me. In the past, i may have expected a refund. But well, What the hell for? I think that their health are much more important to me than money. I cannot imagine what will i do when they are gone. I reckon I’ll just feel lost, and unsure of where i should be going. It’s no use thinking now though. I’m too young to do anything. I’ll have you know, my step brother better not fill the shoes of the family. I’ll be better off by myself.
Well, enough of this blabbering idiot eh. New years eve just another day for me. Just by myself. In my room. Keeping quiet. Lying around.
- Gerald Jericho Cornerstone -
